“But the anti-China Chinese do not see them as individual cases and generalize that all Chinese from the Mainland are lowly, evil, badly educated, unhygienic mass, etc. They take on what their white masters told them. “You are like us, so you are better than them.” This group of people was delighted by the potentiality that they may finally be accepted as “us” and their fellow people are the “Other.” They can finally make friends with white people who are anti-China out of other political and economic interests.”
I am far too familiar with this sugar-coated racism or what I would like to call racial PUA technique.
The following statement is all true personal experience and super cringeworthy, please be prepared to puke:
Over the years I have dated a few upper-middle-class white men. They often compliment me “you are so different from other Chinese girls,” “you are so beautiful you have huge eyes,” “your English is perfect,” “it’s brilliant that you don’t have an accent; the Chinese accent is horrible,” “you are so well-educated in Western high culture…” There was even one handsome imbecile who once told me that I’d be a Chinese Princess while he would be a British navy officer during the Opium War. He looked at me with a smirk, hoping that I would be impressed by his knowledge of Chinese history.
I kicked him out of my house.
They keep feeding me their contempt for my fellow people while telling me how different and unique I am. Of course, we all yearn to be that special one to someone. While they claim to love me so much, they simultaneously bash my culture and my race. Because the criticism is not from random strangers but from someone I’m in love with, then self-doubt creeps in.
Are my fellow people really that bad?
Why would the person who claims to love me so much constantly talk badly of my people?
Am I really that different from them? My romantic partners treated me like a princess and completely showered me with love and care. Meanwhile, they also annoyed the hell out of me. They just can’t stop sending me untrue news and demonization of China.
A similar experience is also felt by my other female friends from the Indian community (see below message)
If you look into the white-nationalists (WN) and Neo-Nazis in the US, you will find that their wives and girlfriends are most likely Asian or Asian American women, who are perceived by WN and intentionally performed by these women as submissive, docile, and hypersexual to be married into white families and to be accepted. Ahem, ahem, the wife of Derek Chauvin, the policeman who is responsible for George Floyd’s death, is an Asian woman. See also Na Kim’s priceless article “The Alt-Right’s Asian Fetish”
If I were born in the West and grew up as a minority person with self-esteem issues. I may easily fall into such a trap and start to hate my own race and wish to marry into a white family to gain citizenship and become a spiritual white woman.
However I was born and grew up in one of the best cities in China, and I grew up as a member of the mainstream group, thus I have the confidence and knowledge to discern the pernicious racism beneath sweet words to fight back such narrative. When they attack China, China in my head is never just a concept or a far-away-mythic country that existed only in my parents’ collection of VCDs.